Nice question. I like to reflect on my contribution. I bring calmness. I bring openness. I am not judging, but curious about whatever people say. I very often bring thougths and senses about God.
That’s it.
At least that was what I said in our reflection together. But what I learned was that I could have been more authentic. It is true, what I said, but there is more to the truth.
What I bring is different due to which room I enter. I would love to say that I always bring ….. That would prove my integrity, but I’m sory to say that’s not how it is. It is true that I allways want to bring calmness, openness, non-judging and something about God.
Sometimes I feel judged or I’m afraid of being judged and I can’t find my speach. I become silent and uncomfortable and I feel bored. Even with my friends. After last time it happened with one of my best friends, I have reflected on what happened. I did loose some of my integrity. I was telling inspired about a talk, I heard in the church about climate change. She sort of punctured my inspiration by saying something about a christian view on climate change. I felt judged and I felt christianity judged as well. So I kept silent.
What would have happened, if I had used our groups image of us sitting in a circle around something, that we thrive to describe from each our perspective, thriving to listen forth something new about the subject? I could have asked her to continue her reflection and listened. What was she actually saying? Something I could be curious about? I felt judged, but I didn’t need to. I’m not proud of my reaction, but I will learn from it.
In our CoCreation group I’m not afraid of being judged. That’s a relief. Thank you all of you for that. But why didn’t I speak the full truth? I could have said – and I should have – that it is different depending on which room I enter. That it is a bit difficult to say all the positive stuff about myself without bragging. That there are some not so positive things I bring as well. When I reflect on it now – a couple of days after our reflection – I sense that I want to answer directly to the question with no detours. Interesting, I didn’t realise it before. I want to speak up clearly and short and with no detours – but that is not REFLECTION!
I will allow much more detours for the future!
Thank you for listening/reading my detours 😉